Super Secret Vault, The

The people who were supposed to give us a ride left without us, so we walked around downtown for awhile trying to decide what to do. It was last call. It was after last call, way after last call.

I asked my friend to tell me again why our ride was gone. How did we get stranded down here?

She said there wasn’t enough room in their truck.

They were her friends, not mine, but I think they didn’t really like her. How could they? I mean, they left us down there. Like, they drove by in their truck and waved to us. The streets cleared out fast. Everyone went home.

We were at the edge of downtown, and I think it was me who said we should call a cab. This was all before cell phones, and neither one of us had change.

In the hotel lobby–who knew there was a hotel on that corner? I didn’t–I told the girl working behind the counter I needed a cab. I said it calmly and rationally. A man came out and helped me outside and sat me down on the curb. He said I couldn’t be in there, but I didn’t understand why.

What’s the problem Non-Officer?

He said he’ll call me a cab. Just, sit. He told me to just sit.

Something like eight hours later he comes out and said there’s no cabs available. So I told my friend the scoop. She had been lurking on the other side of the street looking for a phone.

I was like, I think I just got kicked out of the bar. Or, wait, the hotel. We already left the bar.

After an hour, we thought maybe we should just drive ourselves home. Between us, we’d had at least ten Long Islands. I’d put the whole night on my credit card and signed a slip for almost 80 dollars. I was buying drinks for the scammers who took off in the truck. I knew one of their names was Tom, but beyond that I couldn’t remember much about them. My friend used to work with Tom. She said she thought Tom was a good guy, and I said she better rethink that.

My car was on some side street, and I told my friend straight up I couldn’t drive. I was on the sidewalk, wobbling, trying to light a cigarette, and making the case I wasn’t suitable for a job behind the wheel of a car. Especially not my car.

She assured me she was good to go. I wanted to know why she wasn’t good to go when we left the bar and she said all the alcohol had melted and she was fine now. On the way to my apartment, I never laughed so hard. We passed a police car and ducked and then laughed some more. I thought I had power over something. I had no such thing.

My friend crashed out on my floor. The next morning I went into the parking lot for some reason, and my car was parked crooked. Like, across a few spaces and sort of up on the curb. I think I laughed about it at the time, but mostly it was just really fucked up.